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Lindsay Lohan showed up in court today with her lawyer

Here's Lindsay Lohan appearing in court today after it was revealed she failed to complete the alcohol education classes required for her probation. She almost reminds me of Lara Flynn Boyle on The Practice if Lara Flynn Boyle bathed in coke and had the acting skills of a tit mouse.



I'm only kidding, Lindsay. Arching your eyebrow totally has everyone convinced you're paying attention and not at all thinking about delicious gin.



Lindsay Lohan has a shockingly long history of deciding that the laws don’t apply to her. From stealing cars and running over people’s feet, to stealing jewelry and clothing, to racking up multiple DUIs, there’s little Lohan hasn’t done. I don’t think she’s actually killed anyone yet, but given her moral character, I’d wager it’ll happen in the next ten years. Not only do laws not apply to Lohan, but the consequences obviously don’t either.




This morning she was due in court to explain why she’s violated the terms of her 2007 DUI probation by refusing to complete her alcohol education class. Keep in mind, Lindsay’s choice was to take the class or go to jail. She’s had two years. You’d think even a lazy ass like her could pull it together. But why bother when the rules don’t apply to her? TMZ has a summary of what went down at the trial, and needless to say, justice was neither certain nor swift.

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Megan Fox has been named the newest crotch of Armani underwear

I know I talk a lot of smack about Megan Fox (mostly about how much I want to smack her) but I don’t think this is a horrible hire for Armani. While I think Megan has jacked her face through extensive plastic surgery, her body is pretty great, and she’ll probably be a good underwear model and increase Armani sales. Meanwhile, Cristiano isn’t really a household name in America - but I’m sure Armani wants him mostly for his international name recognition.



Interesting side note - a few months ago, the rumor was that Posh was going to be replaced by Angelina Jolie, who would “costar” in ads with David. David’s response to that was hilariously cryptic: “You know she wouldn’t do it and I wouldn’t do it. At the end of the day, I wouldn’t do it because I’m married.” Because doing underwear ads = affair, right Goldenballs? Anyway, it’s interesting to me because Angelina was the rumored crotch first, but they ended up with Megan. Fascinating.



Megan Fox has been named the newest crotch of Armani underwear, replacing Victoria Beckham. This follows last week’s news that David Beckham’s big, black, bulging crotch was going to be replaced by Cristiano Ronaldo. So, Beckhams out, and Megan and Cristiano are in. Except that they aren’t going to be starring in bizarre, sketchy ads together, like Posh and Becks did. No, Megan’s crotch will be appearing in January, solo.

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